Friday, February 29, 2008

Yummy...

Well, I did it... how friggin' good does this look?



Please excuse the messy icing. I never said I was a pro.

All I know is, it tastes even better than it looks... yum, yum, yum... nuff said.

And, no, my slice was not that big. DH had a slice too...

hahahaha.... ;)

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

Chocolate Drunk

I have been on a chocolate binge for the past few days... I am going to bake this ... maybe tomorrow. I've been wanting this cake since a few days before ER and never made it because of the whole chocolate / caffeine thing. I had even bought all of the ingredients. My plan was to make it, eat a piece or two, and then give it away by ET day. Well, as we all know how plans go... I never got there, time actually flew by during those few days. So now... I am there!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Finally

The spotting started last night. Today is full flow AF (or MC - take your pick) with some intense cramping. I'm relieved that it is finally happening. I was not looking forward to it not happening naturally. For one, we don't have the money for any more procedures like a D&C or for the medication needed to take care of it. So anyway, I called and scheduled my Post IVF appointment for next Friday (03/07/08). There's no hurry, really. I also scheduled another beta blood test for this friday (02/29/08) to see if the HCG is down to 0. I am waiting for a few more days just to give it more time. God knows the b/w is not cheap either. Atleast the nurse said there is no charge for the Post IVF appointment. Wow, something for free! Well, not really free, but you know.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Still Kicking

I'm still alive, yet still waiting on the end to begin (aka waiting on AF/MC to occur). I'm not sure what to think about this. I really figured it would only take a few days to happen, but there has only been slight cramping, but no spotting at all. Hmmmmm ... ??? Anyway, the nurse wants me to call tomorrow to get the orders for another beta. I wonder what she'll say to the lack of activity in the MC department.

I have remembered what could have been an important pivot point in this whole loss thing. On the Friday morning before my first beta (02/15), I woke from a very strange dream. I threw it aside as nothing and the wee bit of brown spotting as normal, but more and more, I think it was the point where things started going downhill. I had a dream that I was having sex. I couldn't see who the guy was, but that's not important. I did, however, have a really, really good orgasm in this dream, and then I woke up. I was having some pretty intense cramping. It really wasn't too bad, but it was enough to make me roll around in the bed for about 15 minutes. So now I wonder did the cramping cause the dream or did the dream cause the cramping and then, ultimately, the loss? damnit, damnit. I know I'll never know, but damnit.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Game Over, I Guess

Got the call... beta dropped to 137. Nurse said to stop all meds and wait for AF. I'm supposed to call next week to get another beta to see if it's down to 0. This just sucks big fat ass! Anyway, I'm gone from here for a while. Thank you all for your support and kind comments. They have helped so much. Congrats to all who are getting BFP's and to ones who aren't... I feel your pain. Now, I think I'll go crawl in a hole somewhere...

Monday, February 18, 2008

I Spoke Too Soon

See... I knew I was getting too excited about this. I just got the call about my second beta. It didn't double. It only went from 309 to 422. Crap! The nurse wasn't too happy about it, especially since it has been 3 days. She said it could be that there were multiples and maybe I lost one over the weekend. Or, she said it could be an ectopic. Anyway, she wants me to do a third beta on Wednesday. I did have some brown spotting on Friday and then some red spotting on Sunday, but nothing heavy, no cramping, nothing. I kinda figured the red spotting could have been from sex or from me sticking my finger up there with the Prometrium. So, after some discussion, we decided for me to continue the PIO shots along with the Prometrium thru Wednesday until I hear back from her about that beta. Ok, now how am I supposed to concentrate on work? Arghhh!!!

I don't know but my butt was doing really good with the PIO shots up until the past few days... OMG! both upper cheeks feel like they have been through a war zone. I'm gonna tough it out though.

Friday, February 15, 2008

This Just In...

I just got the call from the nurse at the RE's office.

My beta was 309!

Whooosh! Man, I feel much better. How bout that for a number? I was hoping for anything, but for it to be over 300, HOLY COW! And, I get to start the Prometrium suppositories tomorrow and then stop the PIO shots Tuesday. I'm not looking too forward to the suppositories. Oh well, I'm just so excited, I don't care. Well, it's official...

I am pregnant!

YEAAAA!!! And my Estradiol was 609 and Progesterone was 134. Now I get to spend the afternoon calling Grandmas and Aunts. Gotta go...

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Sittin Round...

Waiting on 2 pink lines. I have been singing that song all afternoon. Anyway, I broke down and bought a 3 pack FRER. Just did one and 2 pink lines... yeaaaa! (afternoon pee). The test line is about 80% as dark as the control line. The cheapie this morning w/ FMU was about the same as yesterday, still pretty faint, but the FRER w/ afternoon pee is much darker. Here is a rundown of symptoms:

Headache - no
Boobs hurts - no
Blue veins - no
Cramps - not really, more like pinches and pulls
Nausea - no
Food Cravings - no
Fatigue - not really, yesterday a little
Backache - some, but I haven't been able to go to Chiropractor, so that could be it
Spotting - no, only once yesterday, otherwise not one bit
Heightened sense of smell - definitely! (or my hooha has a funky odor)... I think it's the heightened sense of smell though. I've noticed it with other things too.

I feel really lucky. I hope this keeps up, and I hope tomorrow is good news as well. I am now 10dp3dt or 13dpo or 1dtb. One day til beta! or better... 12 hours!!! They open at 7am and I am there (no appt. needed).

Total spent on HPT's +/- $40. Not too bad.

Oh, and Happy Valentine's Day! One I will never forget that's for sure. :)

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Holy Cow!

Got a slightly more visible second line this morning... but I'm trying not to jump the gun yet. I just went to the bathroom and (warning, tmi to follow)... had a clump of brown gooey discharge, yuk, i know, but there is no other way to describe it. It was just on the toilet paper for the first wipe and then a little for the second WTF wipe and then nothing on the third wipe. I wasn't sure which hole it came out of (sorry, tmi), but it didn't have the smell/odor (gross) to be from that one... sorry way tmi... hahaha... Please let it not be a bad sign. Maybe just ... i don't know... implantation spotting or, in this case, discharge? I have no other symptoms. I had sore bb's early last week, but now nothing. I do have a few pinches and pulls down there every once in a while, especially during the night when I'm laying there trying to go back to sleep. I had been doing good with sleep, until the past couple of nights. Anyway, here is the photo...




I swear, I don't see how you ladies can not POAS! You truly are strong women.

I'm at 9dp3dt or 12dpo or 2dtb.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

I Hope This Is It

Because we are almost out of money... I never did add the last few costs since my itemized list of all of this. I need to add the additional Bravelle that I had to order... $499 + $10 for Saturday delivery, and then the $100 for Semen Cryopreservation.

01/25 Meds - even more Bravelle 509.00
01/21 Meds - more Bravelle & Menopur 998.00
01/17 IVF Start Appointment 9,560.00
01/08 HIV & Hep Lab & Nurse visit 120.00
01/12 HIV & Hep Lab fees 463.26
01/08 Semen Cryopreservation 100.00
01/08 Semen Analysis 95.00
12/18 Meds - Bravelle, Menopur, etc. 1,596.34
12/13 Sono HSG / TT/ Nurse consult 335.00
12/18 Meds - doxycycline for him & BCP's 34.12
_________
Total for IVF $13,810.72

Now, let's go back some more...

09/27 Laparoscopy - hospital fee 4,739.08
RE's fee 2,000.00
Anesthesiologist's fee 492.00
Pathologist's fee 135.00
Pain meds 10.08
09/19 Pre-op 70.00
_________
Total for Lap $7,446.16

09/07 HSG - hospital fee 708.60
RE's fee 250.00
Doxycycline 6.13
_________
Total for HSG $964.73


GRAND TOTAL to DATE $22,221.61

$25K is almost gone... damnit! We could have used this money for so many other things, but if this works it will be soooo worth it I just know it! Thanks again MIL, and thanks to my Mom as well for all of the moral support. It can be just as important as the money.

I'm sure I'll have to update this list again because of the Beta test(s), etc, etc.

But Then I Slipped...

I broke down yesterday and did it. I had been reading where people got their first BFP's at 10dpo. It just so happens that I had an expired OPK stick from many years ago. Put it this way, it expired over a year ago, and those things have a couple years shelf life. Anyhoo, there were 2 lines... HOLY CRAP! The one was really faint but it was there. I figured it was faulty because it was expired. Then, it just so happened that my pee sticks came in the mail shortly there after. So... what the heck, I have plenty now... and I swear there is a very faint line... HOLY CRAP! again! I used same pee as before because I had used a cup (hoping for HPT's to show up). I was going to post this yesterday but got side tracked when DH came home from work early. This morning I POAS'd again... tell me what you think...



OMG! I have NEVER EVER EVER seen a second line on an HPT !!! I pray it's not the trigger still in my system or cheap tests. It's been 12 days since the trigger and some say it's gone in 10 days.

I'm at 8dp3dt or 11dpo or 3dtb.

Thank you all for the wonderful comments. I know some of you are receiving bad news, and I feel somewhat guilty about even thinking about being happy. I do realize it is still early and that things may change.

Monday, February 11, 2008

I Survived...

Somehow, miraculously, I managed to put on my happy face for the baby shower. It actually wasn't bad at all. I guess I had my "it's gonna work" hat on. There were even two new borns being passed around (other side of the family). There were a few select people who knew about our IVF (my Sister and SIL, Niece and, of course, my Mom). They were all excited and hopeful. Both my Sister and SIL are nurses, so they have an understanding of the "not for sure" part of IVF. If there were other's who knew, nobody said anything. Oh, and the Mother-to-be knew, and she was very sweet and hopeful as well (and about to pop). But, thank goodness, no big deal was made and no stupid comments were made. Anyway, I managed to smile and ooh and ah as much as humanly possible. I went with a pink bag and even came home with a pink bag. Yep, I won one of the "games" that was played. I felt so smart because it was one that took brain power. :)

I had lost count of what dpt or dpo or dtb that I am. Wow, imagine that. I had to count on my fingers (too early for brain power)... I am 7dp3dt or 10dpo or 4dtb. Wow! 4 days til beta!

Also, I want to say that my heart goes out to all of those who have received bad news over the past few days. I am deeply saddened by all of your losses. It really pisses me off that anyone has to go through this painful process.

Friday, February 8, 2008

Everything Pink...

I Hope I didn't jinx myself. Earlier today I went to Target and bought the gift for tomorrow's baby shower. I was so lost in the newborn baby section, but I bit the bullet and muddled thru the registry. It wasn't that easy. She must have done it online b/c there were a lot of things that were "limited availability in store". But I managed to find one thing on there, and then I bought a couple of other little things, a card, a bag and tissue paper - all of which was pink. I'm trying not to stress over it. I still may chicken out on going. If it weren't for it being family, I would be long not going. Anyway, when I got to the register I had what I would call "Infertile Mind Induced Nausea". There was just so much pink, ugh!

It's 4dp3dt or 7dpo. I guess I could start counting down to beta... Let's see... 7 days til beta. Half way there... I'm sure next week will go at a snail's pace.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

3dp3dt or 6dpo

A few things...

1. Let's hope this has happened. I know, I know, it may take longer.

2. Left hip is again the better hip for PIO shot. This morning it went ok.

3. Has anybody else experienced this? Since Tuesday, I have noticed a strange odor from down there. Is it from the progesterone? It's almost like a burnt something smell. I want to say a burnt flesh smell, but not real sure if that's it exactly. Strange, I know, but it doesn't seem like a bad smell, just weird. I know it is too early to be "anything", but it's just odd. I do have some creamy mucus, not of any color other than creamy-ish. (Sorry if TMI)

4. Happy Chinese New Year. The Year of the Rat. Turns out it is the year I was born. Maybe it will be a good year for me.

5. I've gone to 2/3's decaf tea and it's really good. I may go all the way on the next gallon.

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

2dp3dt or 5dpo

Well, PIO shot was a bit uncomfortable this morning. I guess my right side is just more sensitive or something. Left side seems to be the winner, but I'm probably talking too soon. Anyway, here is a website that I stumbled on years ago and just rediscovered it... The Visible Embryo. It is really neat and informative. I am here. Let's hope this is beginning to happen.

Does anyone have any suggestions or opinions about whether to eat or not eat pineapple for implantation? It's too late if you say to not eat it, b/c I had some yesterday and today, as well as this past weekend.

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

1dp3dt or 4dpo

I'm doing good. PIO shot was a breeze this morning. That makes the left hip, the preferred hip. I haven't had any spotting or cramping, yeaaaa. But when I went to the bathroom a few minutes ago, I did have some paste like reddish brown mucus on the toilet paper and bits in the bottom of the toilet. I have yet to search this online, but I feel it is normal. I'm thinking it is a s/e of the PIO. Also, my boobs have been quite tender since Sunday night, so I know that is from the PIO as I was not w/ embryos until Monday. Anyway, I am supposed to be going to a baby shower this Saturday. Crap! It's been years and years since I've had a baby shower to go to. What to do? It will be too early to know if I'm pg, but this is a family member so I'm sort of expected to go. Get this, it is my Nephew's Wife of 1 year who is due in March (I think). Great, Wonderful. I will be a Great-Aunt and my Mom and Dad will be Great-Grandparents before I can even give them a Grandchild (not that my siblings haven't given them plenty - 10). Plus 4 step Grandchildren and one instant Great-Grandchild when said Nephew married said Wife 1 year ago. Anyway, they all know somewhat about this IVF cycle, thanks to my Mom keeping them informed, but I just don't know how much. I get really aggravated when people ask me over and over about stuff. I feel like I should walk in and announce... "IT'S TOO EARLY TO KNOW ANYTHING". Just to get it over with. Maybe that would shut em all up. Oh boy, maybe I should just send a gift. Oh well, I'm off to the WWW...

Oh, here is the U/S photo of the transfer. The three embryos are between the two + signs.

I've Been Tagged!

I've been tagged by Duck.

Here are the rules to the game:
1) Link to the person that tagged you.
2) Post the rules on your blog.
3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least 3 people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.
5) Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.
6) Let the fun begin!

Ok,so six non important things about me...

1. I used to think I liked yard work, but now I know I don't. Actually, I hate it. We are in the middle of cleaning up a jungle and it is not fun. Some 30+/- years ago somebody went crazy planting boxwoods and azaleas (yes, I know "Azaleas" but we are the Azalea City by golly so they are everywhere). Anyway, I'm sure it was fun at the time, planting tiny shrubs and bushes, etc, etc, watering them and watching them grow. And they were kept up until we moved in and neglected them for several years. I want a totally easy to keep yard where all you have to do is mow. Well, where all DH has to do is mow. I do like flowers though, so I container garden quite a bit and grow a few veggies.

2. This is somewhat connected to no. 1. I used to think I wanted to redo/fix-up an older house, but now I know I don't. If you can, imagine a 1960-something basic ranch style brick house. When we first moved in, it had wall to wall 20-something year old gold shag carpet that was way past needing to be removed. Anyway, we have spent the last 6 years slowly trying to fix it up and fix where it has been remuddled and chopped up. I now know that I want a house that is done, finished, where all I have to do is move in. All appliances work, all light fixtures work, all flooring is decent, roof doesn't leak, etc, etc.

3. I think I was Italian in a previous life. In this life I am a White/English/Irish girl w/ fair freckled skin and red red hair (actually auburn). But the reason I think I was Italian in a previous life is that I absolutely love pizza. Not so much the toppings but the pizza sauce with a little bread and cheese. I think I could eat it everyday. It's all about the pizza sauce.

4. I am a very to myself kind of person (thanks mostly to this whole IF thing). Nobody in real life knows about this blog, not even my DH, not my Mom, no friends, nobody. I don't really have very many friends, again, thanks to this whole IF thing. I (we) avoid most all social situations and holidays w/ family. Isn't that pathetic. We hang out mostly w/ DH's sister and her DH who went through IF about 15 years ago and were unsuccessful. So she and he are about the only ones outside of our parents that we talk to about it and who know what's going on. But they are excited about the prospect of us having a baby. She (SIL) wants me to have 3... one for my mom, one for her mom (my MIL) and one for her. So, fingers crossed.

5. I actually have work to do, but would rather do this. So I work for a few minutes and then blog for a while.

6. I am quite impressed with myself at how I've been able to just stop drinking beer (almost cold turkey). I have been cutting back the last few weeks and haven't had one since Sunday night (night before transfer). We, being in our mid 30's and early 40's, have developed quite a tolerance for alcohol. I mean we are pretty much professionals. My DH still drinks at least 6 or 8 beers a night. I had gotten up to 5 or 6 some nights. Every night. Our montly beer bill was as high as (if not higher than) our grocery bill. I guess it's will power. I quite smoking 3 years ago (or has it been 4). Anyway, I am soooo glad I did too. I don't see how non-smokers put up with smokers... yuck!

Ok, so now I'm tagging... Carrie, Busted and ? (still working on it). Seems so many have already been tagged. I'll have to look around more.

Have fun. :)

Monday, February 4, 2008

Picked Up Our Youngins Today

Yes, I'm attached already. Dangerous, I know. Transfer went well today. We have 3 on board and 4 in the freezer. I don't have photos of the actual embryos, but I do have a photo of the ultrasound right after the transfer. I will have to upload it later as I am in bed on the laptop. Anyway, the 3 that were transferred were all 8 celled, grade 2 embryos. The 4 that were frozen were also all 8 celled and 3 were grade 2 and 1 was grade 3. I am quite pleased with their progress. I even got a "Report Card" with all of this on there. Funny, they have already gotten a "Report Card" and they aren't even here yet... ha, ha, ha.

More later...

Oh, PIO shot sucked this morning. Ouch!

And, I've been tagged by Duck so I've got to get busy on that. Yeaaa, something to do during the 2WW.

Sunday, February 3, 2008

The Magnificent Seven on Super Sunday

Well the Magnificent Seven are where they should be on this Super Sunday. They are all 4 cells each according to the RE, who just called. I feel so special having an RE call me on a Sunday morning. Anyway, 4 of them are grade 2 and 3 are grade 3. They did ICSI which is why all 7 of them fertilized. Transfer is set for tomorrow (Monday) morning at 8 am. Yeaaaaa! We have embryos. This is the closest I have ever been to being pregnant. This is just so surreal, wow! I'm trying not to count my chickens though. I know there's still a long way to go.

Oh, and the PIO shot wasn't bad at all this morning. This was the first one. We'll see as time goes on.

Have a great Super Sunday!

Friday, February 1, 2008

Missed The Mark

When I was first sitting down on the bed this morning, I commented to the nurse on how sore my butt was from the trigger. She gave me this strange look and said he must have gone too far down and that I shouldn't be this sore. So he did, in fact, miss the mark. As I was getting this panic look on my face, she leaned in and said it's ok for this (the trigger). But apparently for the PIO shots he needs to be sure to get it in my muscle. I guess so I won't be so sore. So I now have these nice little bullseye circles on each hip. Anyway, it went beautifully. Seven little eggies and the nurse was pleased with that number. I am a bit sore down in my lower pelvis (which I expected), but other than that, I feel fine. I just woke up from a 3 hour nap thanks to acetaminophen w/ codeine #3, which was absolutely wonderful. Now, I just have to wait til Sunday morning for a phone call to find out how they fertilized and when to expect transfer. It could be Sunday (day 2) or Monday (day 3) or Wednesday (day 5).

Have a good weekend.